So many mixed emotions. Happiness, gratitude, excitement and yes, even sadness. But at the end of the day even in this exact moment I feel peace and gratitude. I am incredibly grateful to write this as my healthy, beautiful son sleeps in his bedroom.
In the last month I have done some serious reflecting on the past year given the holidays, Benjamin's upcoming birthday and the New Year. Most people say the day their son/daughter was born was one of the best days of their life. I feel a little robbed that I can't say that. If I'm being honest, it was probably the worst day of my life.
I can't help but think back on where we started when Ben was born a year ago. I can't help but remember all the doctors, the monitors, the beeping, the IVs, the tears - I CAN'T FORGET IT. Every single detail of those horrible days. And then I think, maybe I don't want to forget it, maybe I need to remember so we can have those memories to look back on, to lean on and to help push us forward. After all, there was so much GOOD that came out of those horrible days.
The good thing about a doctor giving you "worst-case scenario" is that you are prepared for just that. When Ben started to do things that we were told he may or may not be able to do, we celebrated. Each milestone Ben surpassed we cheered him on. And that's just what we've been doing in this first year. Celebrating each of Benjamin's moments. Soaking up our "perfect" boy.
For anyone wondering about Ben, here is an update on our guy. He is doing fantastic. He recently had an assessment by his therapists (he gets physical and occupational therapy) and UCLA doctors and he is doing SO WELL. He is only a couple months behind in a few areas and all we hear is encouragement for Ben's future. Everyone is so impressed with all that he does. He is crawling all over, babbles all day long, wrestles with Dad, gives high-fives, loves to dance and listen to music, and is really learning to LOVE food. I have myself a busy little one-year-old.
Today we celebrate the life of our Benjamin Glenn, my how you have blessed our family in just one year. Our cup truly runneth over.
Here are some pictures from our Christmas shoot.
Already have this one framed of me and my guy
Isn't he just the cutest?